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Jun. 5th, 2008 10:24 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
backupmemoriesThis last week has been...god. So terribly bad. Not really, I suppose, if you look in retrospect, but it was damn bad while I was in the middle of it.
I had just been assigned a few huge assignments in class, I had work which I had to do because it was a favor to someone (and it was work that I tend to panic over anyway - I hate the phone like the plague), and I was starting to get sick. Not to mention the ever-lovely monthly mood-swings of doom coming on me again. So if I snapped at anyone, I'm sorry. I was, how do they say, a little bit stressed.
Now I'm REALLY sick, and I haven't done any of the assignments. But hey - at least I'm calm about it...>__<
This was caused, rather abruptly, by my Political Theory teacher yesterday trying to explain a point and deciding to quote Saint-Just to support his argument. It was very nice.
However! There is a bright point to all this sickness! Well, sort of bright. My roommate, seeing how miserable I am (and for some reason thinking that distracting me would help), brought back the movie Danton and cheerily announced that we had to watch it that night because it was due back tomorrow. Well. Having never seen any other French-Revolution-related movies before, I couldn't really bring myself to say NO...
It's an odd movie. Very odd. Odd, odd characterizations. BUT, for everyone's reading pleasure, I can bring you the commentary that arose during it. This is standard commentary on most movies my friends and I watch - I'm not sure why, but movies make us terribly hyper. -_-;; No drugs were necessary in the creation of these comments. ^^
They're not in order, as far as I can tell. Names have been eliminated to preserve the innocent. More often than not, I'm the one making the silly and/or morbid comment.
Gerard Depardieu's face has as much facility in movement as Sylvester Stallone, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is to say, none at all.
During the scene where Maxime is being dressed up by David to be painted:
A: "Look! It's pretty pretty princess Maxime!"
B: "Comes complete with an assortment of pretty pretty plantlife!"
Rule: No one who is wonderingly aloud why Maxime can't touch "that girl from the start" should watch the scene in which 'Maxime grabs Camille by the shoulders' while they are sitting on the edge of a couch. You WILL fall off the couch laughing hysterically, and then we'll have to pause the movie to check for brain damage, and that's no fun for anyone.
The scene in which Camille is in prison and snivelling should NOT - and I repeat - NOT be followed by the loud, honestly joyful scream-at-the-top-of-one's-lungs shout of "PRISON RAPE! :D!!" Talking with the RA and explaining was awkward to say the least.
A: "Wow, Saint-Just is more...um...puppyish than expected?"
B: "Yeah, but at least he's the happy-cute type of puppy, not the 'I want to put it into a bag and throw it into the nearest river' type puppy."
A: "Well, then it's all right then."
C: "Are you both INSANE?!"
Camille is, in fact, an idiot. There has been a vote on this subject. Damnit, the Convention of Movie-Watchers had DECREED it: Camille, you're a freaking MORON!
C: Is Danton making another speech? Good, good. I'm off to make popcorn. Pause it if something changes before I come back.
*few moments later*
C: ...wait, he's STILL talking about himself?
During the scene Danton and Maxime are having dinner and Danton just passed out against Maxime:
D (innocent suitemate): Hey, A, can I borrow your...holy hell, is that guy giving that other guy a blow job? I didn't know you guys were watching porn!
During the scene with Camille again, attempting to describe it to someone who hadn't seen it:
It was kind of like...Maxime, POUNCE!
A: "Saint-Just, please stop referring to that nice member of the Committee as your mother. You have enough parent issues as it is."
B: "Hey, did they just put Camille and Danton in the same prison room for the night? Maxime's gonna be jea-lous! ^_^! Well, movie version of him, anyway..."
B: Danton, stop being such a hypocriteplzthankyouverymuch.
B: I bet you that when they execute them, there'll be dramatic shots of the guillotine blade falling, followed by equally dramatic shots of blood splattering around everywhere.
*few moments*
B: Yep, there it goes, splashing around.
A: *breaks out into song* Splish-splash, I was taking a bath, all on a saturday night..!
Others: *attempt to murder A with pillows*
A: *recovers enough to start singing again* Rubber ducky, you're the one; rubber ducky-
B: *laughing hysterically* Cut off the ducky's head!
C: YES! Danton is now officially and forever to be known as "Ducky"!
C: "Is it just me, or does Camille look very...raccooonish?"
In the movie scene where Maxime is agreeing to their arrest, the summary thereof:
A explaining: And Maxime is saying, "...maybe we should save Camille...", then everyone looks at Saint-Just...
C: Oh, he's definitely doomed then.
Summary of movie later on:
D: So, why was Maxime so opposed to killing Camille again?
B: Well, for the first...make that MOST of the movie, he was being all "But you can't kill him! He's my boytoy of love! And propaganda!"
A: Is Danton trying to be emotional, or is he just being ill?
B: "Saint-Just! Get your filthy boots off the bed this INSTANT!"
*followed immediately by*
A: "WTF dictator huh?"
B: "...maybe it's some sort of nightmare he's having...?"
During Danton's trial:
"YOU, the Knave of Hearts, are standing accused of having stolen some tarts!"
"Yes, I stole those tarts (and they were pretty good in bed, too!), but you see, I did it for PEACE and JOY! After I had them, they were HAPPY tarts!"
Not terribly funny - they were probably more amusing under the influence of movie, but it'll be easier for me to link to them if they're posted in one area. ^^ There was also a weird dream had shortly thereafter, but I'm still poking at it with a ten-foot-pole and not being willing to go there.
I had just been assigned a few huge assignments in class, I had work which I had to do because it was a favor to someone (and it was work that I tend to panic over anyway - I hate the phone like the plague), and I was starting to get sick. Not to mention the ever-lovely monthly mood-swings of doom coming on me again. So if I snapped at anyone, I'm sorry. I was, how do they say, a little bit stressed.
Now I'm REALLY sick, and I haven't done any of the assignments. But hey - at least I'm calm about it...>__<
This was caused, rather abruptly, by my Political Theory teacher yesterday trying to explain a point and deciding to quote Saint-Just to support his argument. It was very nice.
However! There is a bright point to all this sickness! Well, sort of bright. My roommate, seeing how miserable I am (and for some reason thinking that distracting me would help), brought back the movie Danton and cheerily announced that we had to watch it that night because it was due back tomorrow. Well. Having never seen any other French-Revolution-related movies before, I couldn't really bring myself to say NO...
It's an odd movie. Very odd. Odd, odd characterizations. BUT, for everyone's reading pleasure, I can bring you the commentary that arose during it. This is standard commentary on most movies my friends and I watch - I'm not sure why, but movies make us terribly hyper. -_-;; No drugs were necessary in the creation of these comments. ^^
They're not in order, as far as I can tell. Names have been eliminated to preserve the innocent. More often than not, I'm the one making the silly and/or morbid comment.
Gerard Depardieu's face has as much facility in movement as Sylvester Stallone, or Arnold Schwarzenegger. That is to say, none at all.
During the scene where Maxime is being dressed up by David to be painted:
A: "Look! It's pretty pretty princess Maxime!"
B: "Comes complete with an assortment of pretty pretty plantlife!"
Rule: No one who is wonderingly aloud why Maxime can't touch "that girl from the start" should watch the scene in which 'Maxime grabs Camille by the shoulders' while they are sitting on the edge of a couch. You WILL fall off the couch laughing hysterically, and then we'll have to pause the movie to check for brain damage, and that's no fun for anyone.
The scene in which Camille is in prison and snivelling should NOT - and I repeat - NOT be followed by the loud, honestly joyful scream-at-the-top-of-one's-lungs shout of "PRISON RAPE! :D!!" Talking with the RA and explaining was awkward to say the least.
A: "Wow, Saint-Just is more...um...puppyish than expected?"
B: "Yeah, but at least he's the happy-cute type of puppy, not the 'I want to put it into a bag and throw it into the nearest river' type puppy."
A: "Well, then it's all right then."
C: "Are you both INSANE?!"
Camille is, in fact, an idiot. There has been a vote on this subject. Damnit, the Convention of Movie-Watchers had DECREED it: Camille, you're a freaking MORON!
C: Is Danton making another speech? Good, good. I'm off to make popcorn. Pause it if something changes before I come back.
*few moments later*
C: ...wait, he's STILL talking about himself?
During the scene Danton and Maxime are having dinner and Danton just passed out against Maxime:
D (innocent suitemate): Hey, A, can I borrow your...holy hell, is that guy giving that other guy a blow job? I didn't know you guys were watching porn!
During the scene with Camille again, attempting to describe it to someone who hadn't seen it:
It was kind of like...Maxime, POUNCE!
A: "Saint-Just, please stop referring to that nice member of the Committee as your mother. You have enough parent issues as it is."
B: "Hey, did they just put Camille and Danton in the same prison room for the night? Maxime's gonna be jea-lous! ^_^! Well, movie version of him, anyway..."
B: Danton, stop being such a hypocriteplzthankyouverymuch.
B: I bet you that when they execute them, there'll be dramatic shots of the guillotine blade falling, followed by equally dramatic shots of blood splattering around everywhere.
*few moments*
B: Yep, there it goes, splashing around.
A: *breaks out into song* Splish-splash, I was taking a bath, all on a saturday night..!
Others: *attempt to murder A with pillows*
A: *recovers enough to start singing again* Rubber ducky, you're the one; rubber ducky-
B: *laughing hysterically* Cut off the ducky's head!
C: YES! Danton is now officially and forever to be known as "Ducky"!
C: "Is it just me, or does Camille look very...raccooonish?"
In the movie scene where Maxime is agreeing to their arrest, the summary thereof:
A explaining: And Maxime is saying, "...maybe we should save Camille...", then everyone looks at Saint-Just...
C: Oh, he's definitely doomed then.
Summary of movie later on:
D: So, why was Maxime so opposed to killing Camille again?
B: Well, for the first...make that MOST of the movie, he was being all "But you can't kill him! He's my boytoy of love! And propaganda!"
A: Is Danton trying to be emotional, or is he just being ill?
B: "Saint-Just! Get your filthy boots off the bed this INSTANT!"
*followed immediately by*
A: "WTF dictator huh?"
B: "...maybe it's some sort of nightmare he's having...?"
During Danton's trial:
"YOU, the Knave of Hearts, are standing accused of having stolen some tarts!"
"Yes, I stole those tarts (and they were pretty good in bed, too!), but you see, I did it for PEACE and JOY! After I had them, they were HAPPY tarts!"
Not terribly funny - they were probably more amusing under the influence of movie, but it'll be easier for me to link to them if they're posted in one area. ^^ There was also a weird dream had shortly thereafter, but I'm still poking at it with a ten-foot-pole and not being willing to go there.
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no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 05:25 pm (UTC)..."That girl from the start"--you know, the crazy one who beats up small children--is supposed to be Eléonore, by the way. >.>
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 07:55 pm (UTC)I lack the ability to take movies seriously, I think, which helps take everything lightly. I've also read a lot of things about it, and was therefore expecting almost everything that happened - it was only the precise way they did it that was left in question.
What did you find disturbing, precisely, out of curiosity?
no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 01:31 am (UTC)I suppose that makes sense. When I'm joking around with friends watching movies I take them less seriously as well, but I watched Danton very early on when a friend of mine's parents recommended it to me as something on the Revolution. -__-
Mostly I find the whole concept of superimposing the concerns of the 1980s onto the Revolution and everything attendent on that disturbing. This includes but is not limited to the fact that all the Revolutionaries are portrayed at best as caricatures of themselves, at worst as something completely unrecognizeable; the blatant homophobic and neo-liberal messages; Maxime's being portrayed as some kind of delusional Roman emperor in the scene in David's studio; and, perhaps most of all, the blatant changing of facts to make the CSP and the Robespierristes look bad (ie, giving the CSP a secret police and having David remove Fabre from his sketches for his painting of the Tennis Court Oath for political reasons--this last is especially ridiculous when one considers that Fabre was not present for the Tennis Court Oath and was never *in* any of David's sketches of it).
None of the above would bother me much of course if people didn't take it seriously as a "great" film and thus believe that it's largely accurate. Because, you know, Hollywood has a monopoly on inaccurate films. D:
no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 01:36 am (UTC)And yes, I inevitably make snarky comments, even to myself, when watching movies. And I agree with your points on the inaccuracy of it all - but I was warned by various sources of the horrible inaccuracy and the superimposing of concepts, and I had warned at least one of my friends about it as well, so we were able to avoid taking it seriously at all.
And yes, I do hate it when people take films seriously. I nearly murdered the person who said in class once that horrible movie "Troy" would be useful because it meant that people would no longer have to read the Iliad.
I still wish I HAD killed them. The world would be a better place without them.no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 02:05 am (UTC)Oh, yes, I've been known to do that as well, but there are some movies that just make me rant. This is one of them, as you can see. But I can imagine how the manipulations--since they're so badly done--could be funny.
You mean to say that movie that completely *eviscerates* the Iliad? D:
Yes, it's a pity you didn't kill whoever it was.no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 02:12 am (UTC)And trust me, I know what you mean..! And yes, I do mean that movie of pure evil.
It was in too public a place...I still wanted to SO badly...no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 02:22 am (UTC)I would put it the other way around: people should read the Iliad to avoid having to watch that movie. Then everyone wins. :D
Reminds me of the reaction I had to some guy in my film class saying that the Antoinette movie was the best he saw all year. *shudders*no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 03:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 05:00 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 02:51 pm (UTC)We definitely ID Billaud-Varenne, but who was the one who was, um, overly made-up and chubby and melodramatic? We have a bet going on this...
no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 03:01 pm (UTC)That one? That was supposed to be Collot. Who were you betting it was?
no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 03:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 06:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 06:19 pm (UTC)But yes, I suppose that is their thought process. *shakes head* I did like how the various members of the Committee were actually asleep on cots on the floor of the room before waking up to continue work. That was rather cute.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-07 06:32 pm (UTC)That and they were trying to make everyone except the Dantonistes look completely insane. (Although they somehow managed to make those last look insane too, so their plan obviously failed. -_-) Yes, apparently a lot of them didn't get to go home much in reality--that's one detail they did get more or less right.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 09:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-05 11:09 pm (UTC)But Danton will now forever be referred to as "Ducky", so at least something good came out of it!
no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 03:42 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 03:13 pm (UTC)And it's nice that you don't take it all so seriously. It doesn't need to be taken seriously.
Also, your comments were hilarious. Especially the "oh, he's definitely doomed now" bit, Happy Tarts, and Ducky.
Heh. Ducky.
no subject
Date: 2008-06-06 03:23 pm (UTC)I didn't mention the scene of cockatiel!Maxime, either, but that's worth renting the movie for...